A little distance
by somethinginbetween
Summary: Kensi is forced to face some feelings for her partner. My take on upcoming spoilers. This is my first fanfiction so be gentle. First chapter is rough will change later but I hope my writing is getting better. Thanks!
1. Chapter 1

Kensi walked into her cluttered house with tears welling in her eyes. Her emotion though was not just sadness. It was a mix

of frustration, anger, betrayal and what could only be described as nausea. Throwing her keys on to the couch, slamming the

door behind her, she tried with all her might to fight back the burning in her eyes and keep down the dozen doughnuts she

ate tonight. The more she tried not to think about it, the more she thought about it. The more she thought about it, the

more she had the urge to throw up. As she rushed into her bathroom, staring down her toilet. She questioned what the hell

was wrong with her? She was Kick Ass Kensi. She was Badass Blye. Okay so no one actually called her that but for so long her

walls had warded off emotion that maybe she believed that her walls were impenatrable. She had protected herself from

whatever this was and whatever this was not Kensi Marie Blye. Tonight she realized that she had been so wrong. The flirting,

the banter, the telling looks, everything she had convinced herself was nothing, was in fact something. Something that right

now sat in the pit of her stomach and made her sick.

For him it was just another case, another cover, another girl and hey if a guy can't kiss a pretty girl undercover then

whats the point. For her it stung, it burned. She was angry, so angry but not at Deeks. Well, okay a little at Deeks but mostly

at herself. This was not her. Kensi did not have feelings for her partner. She did not let her emotions interfere with the thing

that she loved the most in the world, her job. Her job had saved her when Jack left and she hoped and prayed that her job

could save her from whatever this was.

As she tried to compose herself, Kensi kept telling herself that Deeks was doing his job, that he had play the part. He

had to touch her, he had to smile, flirt and kis... Oh god she couldn't finish the thought without feeling her dinner coming up.

Yes one could argue it was because a person wasn't meant to ingest that much sugar but surveillance was usually boring and

a girl needed to stay up. Unfortunately, tonight she didn't need anything to keep her eyes fixed on her partner and the

informant Lisa. Pff Lisa what a stupid name anyway. She immediately went to the chips in her pantry. She needed to balance

all the sugar with something salty plus she needed a beer or 5 and chips go so well with beer. As she rationalized her poor

eating habits, she could hear him in her head, teasing her about how sugar and salt aren't exactly food groups or components

of a balanced diet. She hating thinking, thinking about not thinking about him. Kensi paced back and forth trying to focus on

anything but the images of his partner all over another woman. They were chasing her down and if she didn't get out she just

go crazy.

Kensi ran that night. She ran long and hard. It started to rain and she didn't care. It actually felt good she thought.

The cold drops of rain bearing down on her brought unexpected clarity. Her anger faded and left behind an ache. That feeling

she knew all too well but that feeling she could compress, feed with ice cream and put away for no one to see. She knew

what she needed but saddened her to accept it because her partner was her best friend and granted a pain in the ass but her

pain in the ass. He was the best part of her day sometimes and the only one who could make her laugh so hard she thought

she might pass out from lack of oxygen. But her Deeks had also become this ache in heart and that would not do. Kensi

needed space, me time, breathing room. Yes, space she thought. "That is how Stella got her groove back, right?!" Kensi

thought immediately went to Taye Diggs and that smile of his and was like "no! Now that's how to get your groove back".

She didn't know Taye Diggs availability so she would settle for space. With her mind made up, Kensi vowed to rebuild the

chinks in her armor that Deeks had managed to dent.


	2. Chapter 2

**I am putting a disclaimer because everyone seems to but if you think that these are my characters you are an idiot. Obviously, these are characters from NCIS:LA. I am a hard Densi Shipper and if you wish to follow me on Twitter with your thoughts on Densi and other ships. I just starting Tweeting not too long ago. ElleBely. Much love. Thanks for reading!**

Kensi woke up determined. She was going save her partnership. Although she knew it was going to be hard to resist his surfer drawl, his tempting jokes, and the way he smelled like the beach. "Ohh God, I still have to smell him!" Kensi debated in her head if she could actually do this. She knew she would have to because she wasn't willing to loose him as her partner. Although she knew that what she felt was beyond just partners, she was going to fix that. Kensi was going to stick to the plan. The plan was create a little distance, regroup, dull non-partner emotions, put the rest in a little box and everything would go back to normal. This was a great plan but she quietly whispered a prayer anyway that this would work.

On her way into work she blasted Techno of early 2000. Yes, there were stares from soccer moms, laughter from teenagers and one rock on from what appeared to be a man in a spiderman costume. It was LA after all. She wasn't sure if she was blasting music to pump herself up or to drown out the thoughts in her head. Maybe a little bit of both but it worked because before she knew it she was parked in her usual spot. She just sat there for a moment. She wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or cry maybe both. Kensi gently tapped her head against the steering wheel repeating "you can do this" to herself. On what felt like her millionth chant of "you can do this", she heard a tap on her window and a familiar voice saying "Morning Sunshine". Kensi quietly cursed her luck and got out of the car somberly replying "Morning, Deeks". "Hey did your phone break over the weekend?" Deeks asked with a teasing smile across his face. "I called and texted but I heard nothing back from my beautiful but obviously too busy to reply to her partner, partner" he finished. Kensi's first thought was well I was too busy eating my jealousy in a pint of ice cream and drowning my sorrows in cheesy romantic comedies because of you partner!. In better judgement she responded as she walked quickly into the mission "Ohh sorry. I was busy and things just got away from me." Kensi hoped he would just drop it and she would bury herself in some paperwork or better yet maybe take down some bad guys, shoot something, anything but talk to Deeks. Deeks caught up to her sensing something was off, he blocked her entrance and looked at her with his piercing blue eyes. There was something so pure and sincere in his voice when he asked if she was okay, that she almost had the courage to tell him that she was jealous, angry, hurt, confused and maybe more than anything wanted to kiss the living daylights out of him. Instead she gave him the best fake smile she could conjure and said " Yeah totally, why wouldn't it?". "Just checking, partner." Deeks answered with a look of confusion. Deeks knew that Kensi wasn't telling him something but he would get it out of her or his name wasn't Marty Deeks.

As they entered the bullpen, Kensi quickly put her things down. The stomach dropping interaction with Deeks just moments before made her realize that she needed back up. And while showing signs of weakness especially to the 4ft ninja wasn't on her bucket list, she knew there was no one better to trust.

Kensi walked into Hetty's office/open desk area/ treasure chest of really old things. Curse this open work blah modern community team building crap layout. Why cant she have an office with walls, a door and privacy! Kensi thought to herself. She wasn't sure if any amounts of privacy could protect her from the burning sensation that was overtaking her body.

"Hetty, Can we talk?"

"How can I be of assistance Miss Blye?"

" uhh I dont know how to say this exactly so I am just going to say it! Please don't ask me to explain because I am really not sure if I have an answer."

"Alright"

" I uhh need some time to think about things...away from...here" Kensi wished at that moment that the floor would swallow her whole. Hetty would figure it out and sheesh would be so disappointed that a boy would throw her off her game. A freaking boy!

"Miss Blye I will respect our request and not ask you to explain further but..." Ohh goodness a "but" Kensi thought.

"in my experience it is always better to take your stand with the people you care about"

"Hetty, I think I need to prove that I can still make it on my own, that I am still the agent that I thought I was 3 years ago."

"ahh I see. Kensi..." Hetty gave Kensi a knowing smile "you aren't the same agent that you were 3 years go. I would argue you are better. Experience makes us better, life makes us better and if we are lucky enough the people we love make us better"

"I just need time Hetty...I don't know what else to say" Kensi look of defeat was enough to tell her whole story at one glance.

"I will see what I can do Miss Blye"

"Thanks Hetty"

The rest of the day was spent as usual. Slowly muddling through paperwork. Avoiding interaction with Deeks as much as possible which proved to be somewhat difficult because he was determined to annoy his partner until she broke and told him why she was being so so un-Kensi. He tried everything he could fake phone calls with girls named Candy and Lollipop about yoga, paper football, Titanic references, outrage over the cancelation of Top Model. He even brought out the big guns...doughnuts. He brought over her favorites which for Kensi was anything labeled doughnut around 2pm, prime sugar craving time for Kensi Blye. She looked over the box and she almost caved "Damn him!" she thought inside but simply waved him off with a "No, thanks".

"What? Who are you and what have you done with my partner?"

"Uhh, nothing I am just trying to turn over a new leaf I guess" Kensi thought to herself this wasn't really a lie because she was trying to change...it just wasn't her health habits which lets be real was a seriously lost cause.

"You are tell me that Kensi Marie Blye is turning down a doughnut?"

"Guys, help me out here this IS a pod person" Deeks turned to look at the rest of his co-workers.

"Maybe she is on a diet for someone special, Deeks" Callen replied not even looking up from the paper he was reading.

"And maybe it's none of your damn business, Deeks" Sam quickly followed.

Kensi was going to miss this. This was her family and she was going to get that feeling back. The feeling that nothing would compromise her ability to do her job and make sure that they came home safe.

"Kensalina, really..." Deeks was interrupted by Eric's whistle.

"We have a case"


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I am once again playing barbies with NCIS:LA. I do not own these wonderful characters but I like to think they own me. I just started tumblr whenaheartshipsitships. Check it out for reviews on episodes, spoilers and NCISLA lovin'. Also follow me on twitter darn it! Callenspants**

As they walked up to OPs Kensi had this unfamiliar sense of dread. She loved her job, she loved her team and she really freaking loved catching bad guys. As Eric explained the case. Kensi's head just wasn't in it. She heard something about a marine, blah blah dead, blah blah club and she could have sworn he said something about a gambling problem but by the end Kensi couldn't even tell you the victim's name. Kensi Blye was at her wits end she was about to scream and the only one in the room that could truly see it was the one person she wanted to run from.

"Mr. Callen, Miss Blye can you stay for a moment? The rest of you please get started on finding our killer"

As the team left the room, Deeks looked back at his partner and while no words were exchanged his look told her everything. He was worried about her there was a hint of something else. She couldn't put her finger on it but she could have sworn it was sadness.

"We have come across some new information regarding our stolen nukes. We believe that Sidorov had an inside man. Someone that had access and opportunity."

"Who are we looking at?"

As if on cue Eric pulled up a picture of agent Sabatino.

"Whoa, wait a minute. I thought agent Sabatino was just put in charge of finding the stolen nukes."

"Yes, Ms. Blye that is exactly our problem. While we have our suspicions, we do not have any concrete evidence that ties him to Sidorov or the stolen nuclear weapons and that my dear is where you come in"

"I want you to get close enough to Agent Sabatino to verify if he is or is not in fact our mole."

"Okay, I get Kensi. I mean clearly she is much prettier than Sam but why not send Deeks?"

"Mr. Callen, Mr. Deeks is not an official NCIS agent and lets just say his skills are more domestic than those needed for work abroad"

Hetty gave Kensi a knowing look and while Hetty's reasons were completely valid. Kensi knew that her request for a little distance had been granted.

"Woah, woah abroad. Where exactly are you sending us?"

"Germany, Mr. Callen and you better get packing, your flight leaves at 18:00 hours."

"Ohh and of course I expect discretion on this as we don't want make any presumptions before we have anything real to go on"

"We will be in touch when we land" and with that Callen walked out of ops. Kensi followed quickly after only turning around to mouth "thank you". Hetty didn't even need to see Kensi as she sipped her tea with a quiet smile.

"What do you think they are talking about up there, huh?"

"Deeks, do you ever learn? Hetty has her reasons and most of them start with mind your own damn business"

"But why Kensi and why Callen. They both have respective partners and lets be real we are the stronger partners. Regal, strong, skilled..."

"Deeks, if you dont want Kensi to kill you I would stop talking because I will look the other way. Heck, I may even help her get rid of the body."

" You know you would miss me if I were gone Sam. Underneath, those tight henleys there is a big heart that would..." just as Deeks was about dig himself into a whole the size of California. Kensi and Callen came down and his thoughts were directed towards his partner.

"Soo...what was that about?"

" Uhh...Callen and I are going to Europe."

" What Europe? How come I never get the fun gigs? Topless beaches, crepes, mostly topless beaches...When do you leave?"

Kensi and Callen looked at each other and Callen answered him "tonight"

Deeks wasn't sure where to go next. He felt he had punched him in the stomach and he couldn't catch his breath.

"When do you come back?"

"Don't know"

"Ok, well what kind of mission is this?"

"Uhh thats a Hetty question"

"So thats it you guys go off and you leave me here with Sam...no offense Sam"

"Deeks, calm down. We will go save the world and be back before Sam even has a chance to kill you"

" Kensi, you can't guarantee that. He already threatened me once today"

Kensi couldn't help but laugh at her partner. She had tried to fight him all day but in that moment, Kensi broke a little and gave into that unsuspecting charm that crept up on her. For the first time that day, Deeks saw his partner smile and it gave him a sense of satisfaction that he had done that even if only for a second.

"I am going to go home get my bag. Kens, I'll see you at the airport"

"Sounds good, see you there"

"I'll give you are ride, partner"

"Thanks" and with that the two senior agents left.

Kensi gathered her things and headed for the door. Part of her wanted to say goodbye but the other part of her just wanted to sneak out without ever looking back. But before she had the chance Deeks caught up to her.

"You were going to leave without saying goodbye"

"Umm, yeah sorry a lot on mind. Goodbye Deeks. See you when I get back"

"That is it?"

"Yeah, I am not sure what you want me to say"

"Are we good here because I am not feeling like we are good so you could start with why you have been acting so strange beyond regular Kensi strange"

"Deeks, I... I gotta go. When I get back, things will be back to normal, promise" Kensi said the last word with such conviction that Deeks had no other choice but to believe her.

Deeks had seen on Dr. Phil that car trips are good places to have talks because its intimate, confined and there are little distractions. Dr. Phil had never met Kensi Blye she would probably rather throw herself from a moving car than talk about her feelings. He was going to try though.

"Let me give you a ride to the airport at least"

" I can call a taxi don't worry about it"

"I want to see you off Fern"

"Traffic is crazy at this time. You'll be driving forever. A cab is so much eaiser. " Seeing the sadness in his eyes Kensi couldn't help but blurt out

"How about I let you pick me up?"

"I can handle that"

"Take care of yourself and don't make Sam too angry. Oh, and don't call me Fern again!" Her last words gave him a little hope that maybe things would be okay but Deeks still couldn't shake the feeling in his stomach, it was like a falling pit. He couldn't explain it. All he knew was that he didn't want his partner to leave. She was the only person that he could imagine in his life every single day. He stood there for a second and watched her pull away. He was pretty sure he why he felt like this and hoped that he would have the chance to tell her.

**Thank you to all those who followed this story. I think I am going to only make it 5 chapters. Next chapter is a time jump and Kensi is back with some ****extra baggage ;). **


End file.
